"I know your scared, yeah you've been burned, but I would never hurt you like that. If you take a chance I am not like them, them, them." - Kelly Clarkson
So introspection has become a sport for me. I enjoy finding out what emotions and fears motivate my actions and emotions. I am so very calculated when my head is clear. When the lions emotions don't overcome me I am planned and precise. I know what prompts my emotions, I know what inspires my words and when the dust settles it is usually to reach a common goal.
As of late though the lion in me has overcome the calculated side of me. My life is run by emotion, lust and desire. I am controlled by the one I want the most and fear of losing what I have has become a full time job for my brain. Naturally I don't enjoy to be the receiver of a not in control relationship because intentions can never be as pure as mine. The selfish gain that I gain when I am in control is rarely used to harm but rather to ensure stability and a secured relationship.
So now on to the purpose of this post I suppose. Although I find that I enjoy talking about my problem in a more third party logical way. Either way - the end result is my emotions a lot of times refuse to be satisfied until they are pasted upon a page.
What level does sex play in a relationship - how does it rule the way that you think and act? How can one aspect of a relationship undermine the thoughts of security and love of the others. In my previous post I spoke about sex as being loveless sometimes. Inside the walls of a relationship though for me it is the most powerful expression of "I love you". For me the act doesn't just fulfill the lusty need for an orgasm or the desire to be wanted. While the two are definitely a part of the allure of sex and the end result of having it, sex to me is more of an expression.
Entertain for me please for just a moment the thought I want to share. When a relationship is first being nurtured the desire and lust make for a sexual experience that is more about exploring and uncovering - very lustful indeed as the two find out more about each other. As time progresses though and the relationship matures the experimenting and experiencing fades as the main purpose. You love this individual and you know exactly what can be done to make them feel good. Sex now is an expression of your love. It is a way of saying "I love you" without saying "I love you". Imagine that, an Aquarius wanting to be creative in the ways of expressing himself.
So then the more rhetorical question is asked, what happens when the sex isn't there? For the one that uses it as an outlet of expression to tell their partner that they love and care about them, that they want nothing more than pleasure for them. How does that affect the relationship?
As of late though the lion in me has overcome the calculated side of me. My life is run by emotion, lust and desire. I am controlled by the one I want the most and fear of losing what I have has become a full time job for my brain. Naturally I don't enjoy to be the receiver of a not in control relationship because intentions can never be as pure as mine. The selfish gain that I gain when I am in control is rarely used to harm but rather to ensure stability and a secured relationship.
So now on to the purpose of this post I suppose. Although I find that I enjoy talking about my problem in a more third party logical way. Either way - the end result is my emotions a lot of times refuse to be satisfied until they are pasted upon a page.
What level does sex play in a relationship - how does it rule the way that you think and act? How can one aspect of a relationship undermine the thoughts of security and love of the others. In my previous post I spoke about sex as being loveless sometimes. Inside the walls of a relationship though for me it is the most powerful expression of "I love you". For me the act doesn't just fulfill the lusty need for an orgasm or the desire to be wanted. While the two are definitely a part of the allure of sex and the end result of having it, sex to me is more of an expression.
Entertain for me please for just a moment the thought I want to share. When a relationship is first being nurtured the desire and lust make for a sexual experience that is more about exploring and uncovering - very lustful indeed as the two find out more about each other. As time progresses though and the relationship matures the experimenting and experiencing fades as the main purpose. You love this individual and you know exactly what can be done to make them feel good. Sex now is an expression of your love. It is a way of saying "I love you" without saying "I love you". Imagine that, an Aquarius wanting to be creative in the ways of expressing himself.
So then the more rhetorical question is asked, what happens when the sex isn't there? For the one that uses it as an outlet of expression to tell their partner that they love and care about them, that they want nothing more than pleasure for them. How does that affect the relationship?
