"Love and attraction is like sex and passion, it's two ends of the spectrum... are you a friend or a lover, now pick one or the other" -Darren Hayes
Dare I really broach this subject. It's not as if this type of topic isn't already plastered upon every persons mind especially when they consider homosexual relationships. Let me digress...
I was asked the other day by a co-worker, Do gay men even have monogamous relationships? While I couldn't blame her for her own ignorance I was more appalled with the thought that people really think that. Perception is reality so for many reality says that the "gay community" is promiscuous and therefore where is the line between promiscuity and monogamy?
Rather than open that subject up the purpose of this post was to discuss the difference between sex and passion, love and attraction, and what level monogamy plays in actually loving someone. I have a really disillusioned belief when it comes what role monogamy plays in loving someone. I used disillusioned to describe it because I receive much "heat" for this stance.
Simply put I truly feel that the act of sexual intercourse has little to do with actually loving someone. For one, a couple could of never had relations and they still get married and stay with each other until it does occur. Supposedly our puritan roots dictate to us that this is the preferred and "right" way of doing things. Logic dictates that if one is able to still love another without having sex with them then sex has little to do with not loving someone. Un-cryptically said, if I have sex with someone else when we are dating that doesn't mean that I love you any less.
I am familiar with the counter argument to this stance that having sex with someone else is disrespectful for the other partner and I can appreciate those emotions. I ask this though, why is it disrespectful? If the person still loves the other no less than before, why is it a problem that they had loveless sex with another?
Dare I really broach this subject. It's not as if this type of topic isn't already plastered upon every persons mind especially when they consider homosexual relationships. Let me digress...
I was asked the other day by a co-worker, Do gay men even have monogamous relationships? While I couldn't blame her for her own ignorance I was more appalled with the thought that people really think that. Perception is reality so for many reality says that the "gay community" is promiscuous and therefore where is the line between promiscuity and monogamy?
Rather than open that subject up the purpose of this post was to discuss the difference between sex and passion, love and attraction, and what level monogamy plays in actually loving someone. I have a really disillusioned belief when it comes what role monogamy plays in loving someone. I used disillusioned to describe it because I receive much "heat" for this stance.
Simply put I truly feel that the act of sexual intercourse has little to do with actually loving someone. For one, a couple could of never had relations and they still get married and stay with each other until it does occur. Supposedly our puritan roots dictate to us that this is the preferred and "right" way of doing things. Logic dictates that if one is able to still love another without having sex with them then sex has little to do with not loving someone. Un-cryptically said, if I have sex with someone else when we are dating that doesn't mean that I love you any less.
I am familiar with the counter argument to this stance that having sex with someone else is disrespectful for the other partner and I can appreciate those emotions. I ask this though, why is it disrespectful? If the person still loves the other no less than before, why is it a problem that they had loveless sex with another?
